sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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