he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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