I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
