Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
he thought i was a dude.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Randomize
