Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
actually, I'm a sock model
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
