The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
