Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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