Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
