Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
