so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
