Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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