I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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