We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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