white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
