so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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