4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
