I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
