I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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