He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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