96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
