I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
