Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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