My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have tasted many bathrooms
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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