Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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