I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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