This girl is more easily done than said...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
