Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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