Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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