What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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