you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
