She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
