so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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