Me too!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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