I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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