That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
