It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
