Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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