Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
