I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
