i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
