I think I am morally bankrupt
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
