my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
