I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
