WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
