he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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