Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
