Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
