My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
