he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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