what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
