i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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