i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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