In the future we'll all be gay
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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