so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
