I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
sex in a hospital.. check
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
