okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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