I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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