just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I didn't notice because vodka
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
