Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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