Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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